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This is Dedicated to the Humorless :) By Ray Stevens

May 1, '08 7:15 AM
for everyone

My account is overdrawn, my car slid down the hill
I'm givin' up, I've got no more to give
My beagle bit the vet, and my daughter's on the pill
And my ficus plant has lost it's will to live

I owe Mastercharge my life, I've got adolescent skin
My doctor says I can't use any salt
My waist is getting thick, but my hair is getting thin
And my house is on the San Andreas fault...

I need your help, Barry Manilow
I'm miserable and I don't know what to do
Sing me a song, sing it sad and low
No one knows how to suffer quite like you

My shrink is out of town, my love life is a joke
My ex-wife sold my diary to Rona
All my ashtrays are overflowed, and I don't even smoke
And my sinuses came back from Arizona...

(Spoken) "Hello, Mandy? It's me. I'm here at the Copa. You know, the Copacabana. I know I don't write the songs that make the whole world sing but I do know one thing, Mandy... I can't smile without you.... Forget Lola.... Remember that weekend in New England? I thought then that this could be the magic at last... Now here I am... Tryin' to get the feelin' again!"

I need your help, Barry Manilow
I'm all alone and sitting on a shelf
Sing me a song, sing it sad and low
I feel like feeling sorry for myself

I need your help, Barry Manilow
Your songs can really comfort the unlucky
Sing me a song, sing it sad and low
I wish I didn't have to feel so yucky...
I wish I didn't have to feel...

So yucky!!!

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24 CommentsChronological Reverse Threaded

tamatha wrote on May 1

I LOVE Ray....his humor has been a mainstay in my life....I grew up on "The Streak"...and "The day the squirrel went berserk, in the First Self-Righteous Church, in the sleepy little town of Pascagoula"......LOL!!!

bugsey wrote on May 1, edited on May 1

tamatha said

"The day the squirrel went berserk, in the First Self-Righteous Church

Hey.. that sounds good, I'm gonna look it up on you tube!
Here it is --- http://youtube.com/watch?v=iiMoK7Xkv9g

tamatha wrote on May 1

Ahahahah....is that PRICELESS or what....Thanx Bugsey...what a way to get my morning jump started.....!!!

aukina4israel1 wrote on May 1

Thanks for the laugh Bugsey, I love that squirrel thing, have downloaded it to my site to

tamatha wrote on May 1

...LOL...I just had to listen to it again....That Ray Stevens is the cutest thing...I could just eat em up!!....

bugsey wrote on May 1

aukina4israel1 said

Thanks for the laugh Bugsey, I love that squirrel thing, have downloaded it to my site to

lol to you BOTH! Enjoy!

ithankyou wrote on May 1

this should be the theme song of every kind of victim,imagine even his dog bit the vet! haaaaaaaaa!

meefsgirl wrote on May 1

That was great bugsey!!

khalipor wrote on May 2

nicest video

tgcavewoman wrote on May 2

I loved this one!

bugsey wrote on May 2

I even liked the tune:) Ray Stevens really ROCKS!!!! :)

zeeofman wrote on May 3, edited on May 3

Ray has always Rocked! He has had his own hits..just not like the others. He seems to always put smiles on faces.
Peace and Luv
Alan

bugsey wrote on May 3

zeeofman said

Ray has always Rocked! He has had his own hits..just no like the others. He seems to always put smiles on faces.
Peace and Luv
Alan

Hey how have you been? Missed yah!

zeeofman wrote on May 3

Well have been working not much time for the computer.
You caught it before I edited the comment. You are really quick lady.:)
May you have a great week.
Alan